Five drunken nights

As I went home one monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be 
Well I called me wife and I said to her
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be.

Ah, you're drunk you're drunk you silly old fool
Still you cannot see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well its many a day i've travelled, a hundred miles or more.
But a saddle on a sow, sure, I never saw before.

And as I went home on tuesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be.
Well I called my wife and I says to her
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be.

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see.
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me,
Well its many a day i've travelled, a hundred miles or more,
But buttons in a blanket, sure i've never seen before.

And as I went home on wednesday night,
As drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a pipe upon the chair,
Where my old pipe should be,
Well I called my wife and I said to her,
Will you kindly tell me,
Who owns that pipe upon the chair,
Where my old pipe should be.

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see,
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me,
Well it's many a day i've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But tobacco in tin whistle, sure, i've never seen before,

And as I went home on thursday night, 
As drunk as drunk could be,
I saw two boots beneath the bed,
Where my old boots should be,
Well I called my wife and I said to her,
Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns those boots beneath the bed,
Where my old boots should be.

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see,
There two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me,
Well it's many a day i've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But laces in geranium pots i've never seen before.

And as I went home on friday night,
As drunk, as drunk could be,
I saw a head upon the bed,
Where my old head should be,
Well I called me wife and I said to her,
Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns that head upon the bed,
Where my old head should be,

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see,
That's a baby boy me mother sent to me,
Well it's many a day i've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But a baby boy with whiskers on,
Sure, i've never seen before.

Traditional
Salvaged from a bin at the gathering 1096, within the irish songbook