I've been a role-player for many a year,
Spent all my money on weapons and gear,
But now i've returned with la-tex in great store,
And never will be a role-player no more.

Chorus:
And its no, nay, never; no, nay, never, no more,
Will i be a role-player, no, never, no more.

I went to a campsite i yearly frequent,
Where the plot team is aweful, the god team is bent,
I asked for a ritual, they answered be nay,
We've got twenty eight, and that's just for today.

I went to a feasting, they call it q.c.,
Where attendance was poor and the plot content-free,
I asked of the herald, just why am i here,
He looked at me squarely, and said "no idea".

There's politics, backstabbing, scandal and strife,
There's man against man, and there's man against wife.
Which is fine if it's just for a week there or here,
But not for three sixty five days a year.

There's laytex and leather and rubber and foam,
A tent and a field are a role-players home,
With cider and vodka and booze in great store,
I'm in no fucking state to role-play no more.

And no i do end my role-players lament,
We've smoked by the fire, and frozen in tent.
With plot-twists and cock-ups to have us in tears,
But our memories are short, and we'll be back next year.
I've Been a Role-player